My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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