For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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