Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
