Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up under a house in Key West
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