the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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