So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
