I wish I could teleport
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize