you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
