she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
