you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want her autograph on my taint
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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