do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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