Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
