Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize