White coat. Heels.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
