Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
