I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
