Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
