I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
