I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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