Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
