dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have fence marks all over my body
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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