Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
