Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
