I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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