no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
