hotel room ftw
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
