talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
