Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
