So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
