This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
be right there i have to get my cape
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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