Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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