I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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