You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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