why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
