I just made out with a guy for $7.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
