i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
