i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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