Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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