I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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