I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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