cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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