Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
