Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
