well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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