It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i've created a new STD.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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