wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
