I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
