He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
