this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize