Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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