Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
