so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
