Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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