i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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