My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
