There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
