I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
