One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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