im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
